The Transformative Power of Motherhood
As my newborn baby was placed on my chest, all I felt was pure bliss. The pain and exhaustion from childbirth had all melted away and we were all that mattered. I didn’t know it yet, but in that moment, my life changed forever.
Motherhood marks the beginning of a transformation that I was so not ready for. It’s not just a physical transformation, but a mental, emotional, and even a spiritual one. Sure, I knew about the physical pain of birth, the baby blues, the lack of sleep, but I was totally unaware of the transformation journey I was about to embark on. Becoming a new mom has challenged me in many ways and it has brought out the best in me.
My Personal Motherhood Journey and How It Changed Me
In the depths of postpartum, engulfed in the endless cycle of feedings, diaper changes, and putting baby to sleep in the wee hours of the morning, I couldn’t help but feel lost. After my first week of being a mom, I remember thinking “WTF did I get myself into?!”
It was difficult to adjust to taking care of another person who needed me 24/7 while I also had to take care of myself. My life had completely changed to days that blended together and long, restless nights. I wondered when I would feel back to normal again or if I ever would.
Motherhood changes everything, which I didn’t understand until I was in the depths of it. Although it was a process, through all these changes, I’ve been able to discover more about myself, channel my inner strength, and live more authentically.
Channeling my empathetic side
The love between mother and child is one of the purest and most wholesome. They love you for you. You’re their safety net and their world. The love felt for your baby is unconditional and you know without a doubt that you’ll do anything to keep your little one safe.
I feel like being a mother has helped me re-channel our empathetic side of me. After years of closing myself off and suppressing my emotions to create this perfect persona, being a mother has challenged me to embrace empathy and my trust my intuition. Being more empathetic has allowed me to understand my own emotions better and recognize when I’m feeling on edge, anxious or overwhelmed and take a step back when I need to. It has even helped me gain new perspectives, helping me understand and relate to others on a more meaningful level.
Adaptability and being more go-with-the-flow (sort of)
As a type-A organized planner, it was difficult adjusting to the constantly changing environment of parenting. Prior to motherhood, I would typically have my day planned out with control over how my day went, what I did with my free time, and how I would de-stress from the day. As a new mom, my day was purely set on my baby’s schedule. I would sometimes have to scarf down a meal in 5 minutes or eat it cold. I would have to get sleep whenever I could and still not feel fully rested, and my pumping sessions became my new me time.
The thing about motherhood is it’s constantly changing. Just when you think you have motherhood figured out, you’re proven wrong once again. Baby may prefer something a certain way, then switch it up the next day.
It was difficult letting go of that certainty and set structure that I was used to, but once I realized that change is inevitable as a parent and stopped stressing over things that were out of my control, life became a little easier. Learning to accept this and embrace a little more type-B mom energy, helped me adjust to the changing demands of motherhood.
Resilience and finding my inner strength
The newborn period is one heck of a journey. Between physically healing, being on an emotional roller coaster of overwhelm and anxiety and facing mental challenges, it is a long road to recovery.
There were days when my mind was foggy and I could barely remember what day it was from the lack of sleep. I was drained and felt like I had nothing left to give, but I continued to keep pushing forward because there was someone who needed me. I was pushed to my limits, but channeled my inner strength to rise above and come out on the other side. I continued to hold onto hope, even when I couldn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel, but knew better days were ahead. However, every cuddle, every smile and every finger grab made the hard days worth it.
Becoming a mother makes us stronger, or perhaps it helps us channel the strength that we had within all along.
Finding deeper meaning and purpose in life
The feeling of becoming a new mom is very surreal. It’s crazy to think that we’re responsible for another life, responsible for raising a new generation. We’re connected to something bigger than ourselves and leaving our own legacy in this world.
Becoming a mom has made me rethink of what’s truly important to me. It made me reflect on my own values and the values I want to instill on my child. It made me realize how precious time is and how I want to be spending mine. With multiple things competing for my attention, being able to prioritize is more important than ever. I’m constantly reminding myself to slow down and appreciate the current moment.
My journey has made me question my own goals and aspirations while redefining what success looks like for me. Suddenly my baby became the center of my world. All the things I thought were important pre-motherhood, were now merely trivial.
An identity shift
One day, I came across the term matrescence, which describes the hormonal, emotional, mental and physical changes a mother goes through. It’s crazy to think that we go through so much to become a mom, it can actually change who we are at our core. Trying to navigate the transition from the old version of ourself to the new version of ourself can be challenging, confusing and lonely at times.
As a new mom, I experienced a lot of mixed feelings. I longed for my baby to grow up and get past the current stage, but realized how much I missed when they were smaller. I loved being needed and taking care of my baby, but felt guilty when I needed a break. I have such a deep love for my baby and being a mom, but also missed the spontaneity and freedom I once had.
It felt as if I was having another quarter life crisis (if that’s even a thing) and I felt very conflicted and torn. I questioned how I could be a loving mother and still find myself outside of being a mom. This was the paradox of motherhood. Realizing that two things can coexist simultaneously helped me overcome these feelings and remembering that being a mom was part of my identity, not all of it.
A lot of times we feel pressured to get back to feeling like our old selves or back to normal. Maybe it’s not about trying to bounce back to the person we were before, but learning how to accept and embrace this new version of ourselves - a better, stronger version.
A self-discovery journey
With motherhood comes a self-discovery journey whether you’re ready or not. This process helps you learn more and understand yourself on a deeper level. It requires a lot of introspection and having the difficult conversations with yourself. It requires you to be vulnerable and honest with yourself. It gives you the courage to stop living the life other people want you to have but to live YOUR life. It makes you realize the things that have been holding you back and constantly working on those shortcomings to break bad habits and cycles. It helps you find your voice and advocate for yourself and your baby. It enables you to be the best version of yourself.
As a new mom, I was left alone with my thoughts a lot, especially during those 3am feeds. This led me to do a lot of thinking about myself. Through deep introspection, I had begun to realize the things that were holding me back from being my true self. Over the years, I had given in to people-pleasing, perfectionism and being an over-achiever in hopes to shield myself from criticism and doubt from others and even myself. I changed myself to fit this mold of what I thought was this picture-perfect person. Little did I know, it was actually causing me to abandon the person who I truly was.
Becoming a mom has been the catalyst of my own self-discovery journey. I’ve been able to learn more about myself and re-discover the person underneath all the layers. After unravelling these layers and breaking down the walls I’ve built, I’ve discovered more about myself. I learned to be kinder, more understanding and to show myself more grace. This self-discovery journey has given me the strength and courage to be authentically me.
Moving forward and never looking back
Motherhood is a transformative journey that changes us forever. It demands us to put our own needs aside to care for a new little life that needs us. It requires understanding, patience and kindness for others and ourselves. It shifts our focus from things we once thought were important to other things that now take priority. It redefines the meaning and purpose of our own lives. Although motherhood can be messy, chaotic, raw and overwhelming, it can also be healing, transformative, loving, and even beautiful. Everyone’s journey through motherhood is unique and it is your own, so embrace it.
A little self-reflection:
What are some ways motherhood has changed your perspective on life?
What are some challenges you faced as a new mom and how did you overcome those?
What new discoveries have you made about yourself after going through something difficult?
Please let me know your thoughts in the comments and join the email list to get the latest on the blog. Thank you for reading!